“3am”
By: Leah Sicat
what happens to a dream deferred?
does it dry up or
does it explode?
but what about dreams searching rainbow gold?
the ones you chase
not bull’s-eye straight
but seem more elusive as they grow
closer, clearer, farther out of reach
until you ask what you’ve been running for
because what’s ambition and independence
when you’re going alone?
a plan years in the making
but with lonely nights long?
mornings maintaining peace of mind
calming the cried-out eyes swollen
just to stay focused
and get your hustle on?
true, training for your own relay race
setting the pace
because your heart’s marathon-strong
then you realize you’re not the only one
who you can depend on
you have friends, also running
so remember to let out a deep breath
and pass the baton
eyes on the prize
but knowing how to win
also means knowing how to lose
because even dreams have back-up plans too
so that if one fails you don’t fall too
so that waking up from nightmares is the easiest thing to do
not insomnia, no sleeping
but still wide-awake with the 3rd eye open
new possibilities, different ways to be fluent
at 3am rediscovering language instead of silence
20/20/20 vision
reading Braille by sight from a distance
rediscovering strength
still standing not just existing
still challenging just by speaking
survival not assimilation
negating the negation
blurring polarities
of legitimacy, citizenship within borders
nobody or part of a nation
stories of diaspora always remembering
surprising them with my voice
the voice of a woman
throwing words Molotov exploding into poems
because
that’s where dreams go:
from my lungs, through my eyes, on my skin
in the air, on the page, into your hands, between your eyelids.
Reflections Told 